{"id":385,"date":"2013-08-16T13:14:38","date_gmt":"2013-08-16T18:14:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/?p=385"},"modified":"2013-08-13T22:08:59","modified_gmt":"2013-08-14T03:08:59","slug":"385","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/2013\/08\/385\/","title":{"rendered":"Butting Heads"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So, I did not kill any PCs last session&#8230;<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &#8230;but I nearly snapped on a player.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And it isn&#8217;t fair of me to call him\/her out and name names on the interwebs. Thus, I will just try and speak in generics and hyperbole instead of specifics. Cool?<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Now, I think that part of a DM&#8217;s job is to keep the table on task, so to speak, whenever possible and to keep interpersonal conflict to a minimum. This DM isn&#8217;t great at that part of the whole spiel.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I try to quiet all the non-game-related chatter when we&#8217;re playing, but at the same time, I like to sort of let them go from time-to-time for two reasons. A) So I don&#8217;t come across as tyrannical bitch, ruling the table with my iron fist. Too *much* structuring as a DM is as bad as too little. And B) To get the distractions out of their systems.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Conflict though&#8230; that&#8217;s harder.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; My group has been gaming together (except Rhesa and I) for like, thirty years in some cases, off-and-on. Years and years of history and stories and drama and resolution. So there isn&#8217;t a lot of <i>real<\/i> conflict. Most disagreements are quickly put to rest and filed away with all the other stupid bickering they&#8217;ve done over the years.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So in the two years I&#8217;ve been apart of the group, there haven&#8217;t been many issues around the table (ignoring, of course, the big drama that put me in the DM&#8217;s seat) and thus, I haven&#8217;t seen a lot of examples of resolving conflicts.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And I&#8217;m terrible at conflicts in general. I&#8217;m non-confrontational. I don&#8217;t know how to deal with it properly.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; At the table the other night, I was running our Kingmaker Campaign. Things were going fairly well, I thought, though the night had been primarily combat and light on RP (as happens occasionally). Then, my lovely husband drew my attention to some potential tactical issues I&#8217;d missed. I think, though he did not mean it to come across that way, he stole a bit of my [insert Cartman voice] <i>Authoritah!<\/i> by doing so. Suddenly, everyone felt free to tell me their opinion on things or suggest things. And I am <b>OPEN<\/b> to opinions, suggestions, etc. As long as its respectful of the fact that a) I am the DM and thus, for the night, GOD. And b) that I am not a fucking idiot.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Fast forward to the end of the night. It was getting late. I had to pee, and people were a bit antsy to get to the next combat before we had to break up. So, I tossed my pre-planned idea and came up with a new scenario on the fly.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The party approached the slave train from behind.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Things progressed.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And every damn round, the player in question had some comment. Some nitpicky rule B.S., some niggling little <i>thing<\/i> to point out. And I tried to just smile and let it go. But by the end, I just wanted to explode on him. I did.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I don&#8217;t know if he was being purposefully obtuse or trying to make me feel inferior\/stupid for not knowing every single rule ever.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Still, that&#8217;s how I felt.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And these were things that didn&#8217;t really matter. I am not the type to cheat to purposefully fuck the PCs over. The game isn&#8217;t about ME versus THEM. Its about &#8211; in my opinion &#8211; the story.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And if it improves the story to say the big boss bowls over slaves on his way to attack the PCs, he&#8217;s going to bowl over slaves on his way to attack the PCs. No, I am not going to fucking make him roll bull rush attempts or attack rolls or any such bullshit.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Just sit back and enjoy the cinematics, bitch.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Fuck.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; *cough*<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Forgive my cursing. I do try not to be excessively vulgar here. Sometimes it just comes out.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And this whole situation just had me fuming.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; It took all the fun out of the night for me. And it made feel like a real bitch at the same time. Not the good kind of bitch I like to be, but the bad kind.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Its a fundamental difference between players like me (RP-oriented\/Story-oriented) and players who like RP\/Story, and action, but who really like to futz with the rules and technicalities.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; For me &#8211; for my games &#8211; if it doesn&#8217;t negatively affect the PCs&#8217; ability to deal with the situation, then its fine to give it some flair. To slather on the cinematic awesomesauce. To let a 12 foot tall Hobgoblin knock a bunch of 4-hit-point peasant-slaves out of his way without rolling to hit.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So fuck you, player.<br \/>\n&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; That is how I roll.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/signature.jpg\" alt=\"Signed, Josie\" width=\"92\" height=\"139\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-13\" \/><br \/>\n<i>Note: Image is &#8220;Sparring 2&#8221; by bjearwicke from SXC.hu<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So, I did not kill any PCs last session&#8230; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &#8230;but I nearly snapped on a player. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; And it isn&#8217;t fair of me to call him\/her out and name names on the interwebs. Thus, I will just try and speak in generics and hyperbole instead of specifics.&hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link-p\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/2013\/08\/385\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[69,52,4,214,23,67,68],"class_list":["post-385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gaming-2","tag-assholes","tag-dming","tag-gaming","tag-life","tag-musings","tag-people","tag-relationships","xfolkentry","clearfix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=385"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":387,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions\/387"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/388"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}