{"id":452,"date":"2013-09-15T23:00:19","date_gmt":"2013-09-16T04:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/?p=452"},"modified":"2013-09-07T00:05:07","modified_gmt":"2013-09-07T05:05:07","slug":"oh-guano","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jeezjosie.com\/blog\/2013\/09\/oh-guano\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh, Guano!"},"content":{"rendered":"

      Today\u2019s snippet, titled \u201cOh, Guano!\u201d, is a piece I wrote about an NPC in my Pathfinder Campaign (sort of the \u201cKing Maker\u201d adventure path). The intention behind this was to illustrate events occurring in the world, but away from the PCs. They\u2019re supposed to be writing their own pieces about actual in-game events. We shall see if any materialize.
\n      Be forewarned, there are mature themes and naughty language below.
\n– \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 –
\n      \tFeodyr sighed.
\n      \tAin\u2019t fair. Me being stuck here minding the girls when the others are out there. Even Hobie got to go and that bunny-chaser has a bum leg! He stuck a stick into the dirt, tracing patterns idly. What good is he gonna be, hunting and finding food? He couldn\u2019t even notice a snake\u2019s nest when he was standing in it! And now he\u2019s out there, sick as a goblindog, all shaky and sweaty. What good is that?<\/em>
\n      \tWith a another sigh, Feodyr realized he had answered his own question. He was no good out there, helping the others, but Hobie would not have been any good to the girls if something found them in the little cave.
\n      Take last night, for instance. Genny had woken up crying. At first everyone just ignored her, for she had cried a lot since Murfree\u2019s Town\u2019s burned. Especially after that snake spooked the big horse and spilled Hobie and Genny into the dirt, where Hobie landed on Genny and broke her femur. And after Gavriil and Lexi and their friends left them here in this little cave while they went to see if they could get some vengeance on them Hobgoblin bastards, a whole flock of blood sucking bats had attacked in the night. Boy, had Genny cried then! She hated rodents and bats were just rats with wings.
\n      \tMs. Katya had been pretty good at killing the bats, and Petyr and Ivan, too. They were probably off now, killing rabbits for supper, or maybe even hunting a boar. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn\u2019t give for a big ol\u2019 piece of cracklin\u2019 right now!<\/em>
\n      \tFeodyr heaved another sigh and sniffed the air. The only thing he could smell besides, smoke and feet, was bat guano.
\n      \t\u201cGross,\u201d he muttered.
\n      \t\u201cWhat\u2019s gross, Feodyr? Hey – do you think they\u2019ll be back today? Lexisha and Gavrashka and Ra-sha and-\u201d
\n      \tHe silenced Rosy with a single glowering look. \u201c\u2018Course they will, or tomorrow. They promised.\u201d
\n      \tChagrined, she tucked her knees beneath her and spread her skirt, an ugly, dirty, tattered thing, over her lap. He watched as she smoothed it down with her pretty, graceful fingers, then clasped her hands together. \u201cYou are right, of course,\u201d she said, her soft voice hardly louder than a whisper.
\n      \tFeodyr dropped his shoulders, feeling like a donkey\u2019s butt.
\n      \t\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Rosy, I shouldn\u2019t have snapped at you that way.\u201d He was rewarded with a smile and Rosy glanced up at him briefly. Feodyr was surprised to notice that her eyes were not blue, as he had thought, but so deep as to be nearly violet. \u201cI just- uh – do you think they really wouldn\u2019t mind if you started referring to them that way? They are nice and all, but they aren\u2019t family.\u201d
\n      \tRosy nodded once and chewed on her lower lip for a moment. He could practically hear the way she was weighing out her response.
\n      \t\u201cWe don\u2019t really have any family, Feodyr. Not anymore. I-\u201d Her voice broke and he could see that she was struggling to hold back tears. She probably don\u2019t want me to think she\u2019s a big baby, like Genny. Rosy composed herself and after a moment, continued. \u201cI saw what happened to my Mama and Father. One of the big ones ate the baby! He ate her, Feodyr. Oh, Sarenrae\u2019s Light, they are all dead now. Everyone but us.\u201d
\n      \t\u201cShhh, Rosy, shhh,\u201d he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, suddenly feeling many years older than his mere thirteen. \u201cIt will be all right, you know? We aren\u2019t alone, not really. And I promise, I\u2019ll be there no matter what. I\u2019ll always look out for you.\u201d
\n      \tRosy placed one of her lovely hands upon his thigh and looked up at him earnestly. \u201cYou really mean that, Feodyr? Really?\u201d
\n      \t\u201c\u2018Course, I do. You won\u2019t never have to be alone, \u2018less you want to be.\u201d
\n      \tShe blinked and he could see that there were tears welling up in her big, beautiful violet eyes again. Damn it, I said the wrong thing, didn\u2019t I? Stupid, stupid, stup-<\/em>
\n      \tHis rant ended abruptly, shocked out of his brain by the amazing sensation of Rosy\u2019s pale lips pressing against his mouth. Her hands held the sides of his face gently and for a long moment – or maybe it was just a few seconds, Feodyr really wasn\u2019t sure – he closed his eyes and saw nothing but warm, comforting, red.
\n      \t\u201cRUUUUUUUUUN!\u201d
\n      \tSomeone\u2019s desperate scream shattered the afternoon, forced Feodyr and Rosy apart, and set the world spinning caddywompus, out of control.
\n      \tBehind him, Toma and Genny started crying again and he scrabbled for a weapon, anything close at hand, so he could defend the cave. Shaking, though he put on the bravest face he could and stood directly in front of Rosy, Feodyr began to search the surround area with his eyes.
\n      \tWhat is it? Who was that? Oh, Erastil, please don\u2019t let it be those bastard goblins! I can\u2019t kill \u2018em all alone!<\/em>
\n      \tA heartbeat passed, then two, then more. He could hear someone crashing through the trees. They were getting closer and he could hear ragged breathing. Suddenly, from above the cave opening, something large and heavy dropped before him. It hit the dirt hard, bone-snappingly hard, and groaned.
\n      \tSeconds later, a second creature landed – this one graceful enough to stay on its feet. It crouched over the other, not even noticing Feodyr and his short sword.
\n      \t\u201cCome on, get up,\u201d it said in a voice that was entirely human. Feodyr let his weapon lower slightly and he stepped forward. Recognition sparked inside his brain and he gasped.
\n      \t\u201cMadam Grusbu-\u201d he began.
\n      \tBefore he could finish, before either of the creatures could register the identity of the kid standing in the mouth of the cave or anything else, a tiny, round, iron ball whizzed past Feodyr\u2019s head.
\n      \tThe standing creature crumpled to the dirt. A small welt appeared on her cheek and blood began to seep from her nostrils.
\n      \t\u201cI got \u2018em!\u201d came a triumphant voice from within the cave.
\n      \tFeodyr turned to find little Toma dancing a victory jig with the sling from the druidess hanging from her hands.
\n      \tOne of the creatures began to wail, a high-pitched keening sound, and Feodyr closed his eyes.
\n      \t\u201cToma, what have you done?\u201d
\n      \t\u201cI-\u201d She began, stumbling to a stop. \u201cI- killed a gobbin\u2019, ain\u2019t I?\u201d
\n      \tHe shook his head. \u201cNo, but you may have killed Yvetta\u2026 Madam Grusburn.\u201d
\n      \tRosy had dropped to her knees beside the unmoving corpse and as Toma began to sob, she looked up at Feodyr and shook her head. \u201cIts no good, Feodyr\u2026 she is dead.\u201d
\n      \tHe went to Toma and hugged her, wishing really hard that Ivan would come back soon. He knew how to keep his sister calm. The short sword in his other hand seemed to weigh a thousand pounds and he tucked it into his belt. Genny was hobbling forward now, leaning heavily on the crutch Feodyr had made for her early this morning.
\n      \t\u201cF-feodyr\u2026 w-who is that?\u201d she whispered, and pointed.
\n      \tHe turned.
\n      \tThe first creature was climbing to its feet. It was a person, Feodyr could see that now, but as he leaned forward, squinting, he could not make out a face in the depths of a deep, dark, hood.
\n      \t\u201cHello?\u201d he asked, his voice so timid he was ashamed of himself. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d
\n      \tAnd then all he heard were screams.
\n– \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 –
\n\"Signed,
\nNote: Image is “The Bat” by minotaurus from SXC.hu<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Today\u2019s snippet, titled \u201cOh, Guano!\u201d, is a piece I wrote about an NPC in my Pathfinder Campaign (sort of the \u201cKing Maker\u201d adventure path). The intention behind this was to illustrate events occurring in the world, but away from the PCs. They\u2019re supposed to be writing their own pieces about actual in-game… <\/p>\n

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