Continued.
So, this past year was interesting and not awful, entirely, but not great.
Next year, 2015, will be different.
Next year, I am going to be different.
It begins in a few weeks, with my first bariatric appointment. And then, after a few more, a surgery, and then… a new life.
Yes, after a lot of thought and a big application process, I was approved to start the whole spiel of having weight loss surgery. There are still road blocks; testing, imaging, interviewing, et cetera.
But as of this moment, it looks like I will be undergoing a “gastric sleeve” procedure early in 2015 and, with a little luck, by my 35th Birthday, will be successfully down between fifty and one hundred pounds.
By then, I should be able to hike, and dance, and run! I should be able to do so many things I have never been able to do!
And come our third anniversary, on December 31st, I might be down to my goal, or at least the initial ones.
And at that point, who knows what I’ll do?
Maybe I’ll take up dancing for real. Like, when I was young, I fancied myself a choreographer one day. Or maybe I’ll drive a truck. Or get a culinary degree and open a paleo restaurant. Or become a motivational speaker and travel the world telling kids to get active and healthy before its too late. Or finally get pregnant, have a healthy baby, and raise it to be a healthy little guy!
And I’ll keep writing.
And I’ll keep gaming.
Healthily.
I will be able to go to Hershey Park next summer and ride the rides.
I will be able to go to Las Vegas next summer and walk the strip without needing a motorized cycle or a stop every ten feet.
I will be able to chase my nephews, run with the dogs, paint and garden and work and sing and dance and Live! LIVE LIVE LIVE!
I will no longer be trapped in the body I’ve created with thirty years of sloth and bad genetics.
I will work every day and it will not be easy, but I will finally have the tools I need to be the woman I’ve always wanted to be.
A healthy, active one.
FUCK YEAH!
But that doesn’t come without worry, or without doubts. I have a lifetime of lessons to unlearn. A lifetime of habits to break. A lifetime of fat to melt away. And there are risks. And danger.
But today I am just happy about it. I am relieved and scared and happy and anxious and I just… I wanted to say something about it.
Note: Image is “Weighing” by (Nubuck) from SXC.hu