Welcome to what may or may not become a regular thing here on Jeez, Josie – the Pheenie ❤s Phood section!
      Once upon a time, I wanted to run a food blog, filled with step-by-step photo directions, recipes, and whatnot – just like Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman. This was before she became a household name via Food Network, mind you. But my photos were shitty (that’s being kind) and my cooking skills were nil, so I eventually abandoned Pheenie Loves Phood (dot com) and gave up my dream.
      Of course, another food blog I’ve followed for years and years now, is The Impulsive Buy which is tailor-made for an impulsive shopper like yours truly. I love nothing more than trying out the newest, latest, limited edition-est, and strange products the supermarket has to offer. I’ve actually considered applying there multiple times, but somehow I always talk myself out of it. As if I am not funny enough to write semi-witty food reviews.
      I digress.
      The point is – I think I’m going to have to review some of these food finds because a) I can’t help buying them EVERY. DAMN. TIME., and b) it gives me an excuse to take a bite and not feel so bad if I hate it and have to throw them all away.
      This week’s adventure is two-fold. That’s right, bitches! Two new “limited edition” or contest flavored items! We’ve got the three 2016 Mystery Peeps from JustBorn (a PA company, in fact) and two of the four Flavor Swap chips from Lays.
      First up – the Peeps. Mystery flavors are not my thing. I secretly sort of despise them – I want to know what to expect and not be suddenly grossed out by biting into a puke-flavored jelly bean (yeah, you know what I’m talking about… ick). That being said, I saw all three of these at Wal-Mart the other day and I had to buy them. I tried one of each when they were fresh, and then again after two days open – when they’re nice and crunchy and stale (my favorite!).

      The Peeps Facebook page (which I discovered after trying each one and wondering if they’d released the official answers yet) indicates that the flavors will not be known to the public until Easter. So, even with this review being posted a bit after I wrote it, the answers are A.Y.U.
      Number One. The first one I tried. The first one I hated. My first thought was, despite the snowy white sugar on the snowy white marshmallow, was chocolate. A real powdery fake cocoa flavor. Total ick. It smells like generic Dollar Store candy and taste equally as good (which is to say, not). After a couple days of “stale-ing” I tried again. This time, I’d have to say it almost tasted like coconut. But not in a good way – not in a way that made me want to have any more of them.
      Since Mark refused to even try any of them (before or after stale-ing), Number One is getting tossed.
      Number Two. Immediately, I recognized the flavor. Salty. Faux Buttery. Classic. Like the Jelly Belly, though strangely, not quite as good. I am fairly certain that this one is Buttered Popcorn. It was fun, and tasty in a novelty way, but not something I would want again. Once this package is gone, it will happily remain gone. After sitting for a couple days, the taste remained the same, though the crunchy exterior helped sell the popcorniness and I think I liked it a little better.
      Number Three. Sweet. Sour? Fruity. A little tart. My first thought was some sort of blue raspberry thing, with a light sprinkling of that citric acid they use on the outside of Sour Skittles or Sour Patch Kids. But the sour isn’t really strong enough to indicate it is supposed to be ‘sour’. So I was a little stumped. Then Mark called around the corner from the dining room to ask if I knew where the Cherry Limeade packets were and *boom* it occurred to me that Cherry Limeade (one of my favorite artificial ‘flavors’) could totally fit.
      The tartness could be lime. The sweetness could be cherry. The sourness could just be for funsies. I’m not sure, but that’s my guess. These were much better BEFORE the staleness project, which is an unusual opinion for me to have. Like I said above, I always eat my Peeps stale and crunchy.
      Over all, I’d have to rate the as follows:

• Number One: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
• Number Two: ★ ★ ★ ☆
• Number Three: ★ ★ ☆ ☆

      Moving on, Lays is running a different contest this year (or at least, one in addition to the now-yearly “Do Us A Flavor” event where customers can submit ideas via the website, and vote on which ones will be made for retail in the Fall) called “Flavor Swap”. They took four of their classic Lays flavors and created alternative versions. Customers can buy the new ones, taste-test them versus the old ones, and then vote on which survives to thrive and which is cast aside.
      See what I did there? That little rhyme? I’m totes cool enough for TIB! *ahem*
      There are four new flavors: Korean Barbecue, Smoked Gouda & Chives, Fiery Roasted Habañero, and Olive Oil & Herbs. I’ve tried two so far (and am hoping to try the last two this upcoming gaming weekend).

      Let’s start with the one that will break my heart, regardless of the outcome: Sour Cream & Cheddar versus Smoked Gouda & Chives.
      For those that know me in real life, you probably know that I have had a MAJOR chip addiction in the past. Like, eating an entire bag in a sitting, five days a week. Like, eating an entire bag during a 30-minute show… like eating every potato chip in site, always. Super bad. To combat this addiction, I swore off chips for over an entire year. In fact, I only broke my prohibition to try the Lays Do Us A Flavors one year when the Mango Salsa had me captivated (but turned out to be the grossest thing EVAH!).
      After the break-up I went cold turkey on chips. Then a few snuck back into my life. And more. And more. I never really reached my pre-break-up capacity, but I certain was capable of eating too many. And my chip of choice (when Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar were not on sale/available) is Lays Sour Cream & Cheddar.
      I haven’t had them in months now (not that it has helped me lose weight as I expected, damn it). But I still love them tremendously. So if the SG&C replace my SC&C, I’ll be bummed. But the SG&C are suitably delicious as a replacement. I just hate the idea of giving up the ol’ stand-by.
      When I first opened the bag – these things SMELLED like Gouda. Funky, cheesy, slightly nutty… good Gouda.
      The taste is not exactly Gouda-y, in my opinion, but it is mild enough that even people who don’t adore Gouda will probably enjoy the general cheesiness. The chives here were really just tiny green specks that added little flavor (for me), although Mark said he loved the oniony bite of these chips.
      Overall, I found them to be like someone mixed a bunch of Sour Cream & Cheddar powder with Sour Cream & Onion powder, and called it a new chip. Delicious in its way, but nothing to sing about.

      Next up, the Battle of the Barbecue! In this corner, our reigning champ-een – Honey Barbecue! His opposition, weighing in at an impressive 9.5 ounces – Korean Barbecue! Let’s get ready to ruuuuuummmmmmble!
      Or not.
      I mean, Honey BBQ is a flavor I love (in general). My favorite boneless wings are Honey BBQ. My favorite BBQ Sauce is Honey BBQ (Yuengling Lager brand – btw! SO Delicious!).
      But Honey BBQ Lays are a relatively new thing for me. I’d only seen them around a few times and only bought them once (because I cannot resist a novelty/new flavor) at a gas station in the tiny size. They didn’t impress me with ‘barbecue’ flavor, and mostly I found them too sweet to enjoy. Maybe even a little ketchup-heavy like cheap BBQ sauce can be. Ick.
      The Korean Barbecue ones, upon first smell and first bite, are MEATY. They smell like grilled meat. They taste like fresh-off-the-flame charred hunks of MEAT. If there was ever a stereotypical “man” chip – these might be them.
      That said, while both Mark and I liked them, we didn’t love them. They wouldn’t end up in our regular rotation (well, if we had a regular rotation), but if they win out and Honey BBQ goes bye-bye we’d both be okay with that.
      Now, if they’d just bring back the amazing FlavorRush Cheddar BBQ Ruffles from the late 90s… God, I miss those.

      The last remaining flavors are Roasted Fiery Habañero (to replace Flaming Hot) and Olive Oil & Herb Kettle Chip (to replace Cracked Black Pepper and Sea Salt Kettle Chips).
      I’m only familiar with Flaming Hot Cheetos, so my frame of reference is limited on that. Plus, I’ve only recently really begun to enjoy spicy/hot flavors, so the Habañero flavor does not appeal to me very much. That said, I love the idea of a roasted, hot-flavored chip and I am definitely going to give them a try this weekend.

      Last up, the Olive Oil & Herb Kettle Chips. I finally saw some at Weis the other day and almost picked them up… but I decided to wait until the weekend because the good Lord knows we won’t (and shouldn’t) eat them all anyway and I abhor wasting food.
      Even crappy food.
      I don’t enjoy black pepper. There, I said it. I don’t like it (much) on my food. I don’t like adding it to my food. And I don’t like any of the chips I’ve ever tried that have it as a primary flavor. It just makes me want to sneeze and burns a little, but not in a good way.
      However, Olive Oil and Herb could be nice. Lays has done some herby flavors in the past (the region Tomato & Basil ones from a few years back springs to mind, as it became my beloved Timothy’s favorite chip that summer) successfully and I think this will be another tasty treat.
      Unfortunately, Kettle Chips tend to be too hard on my teeth & gums so I avoid them in general. That said, I’m psyched to give them a try too.

      My ratings for the Lays Flavor Swaps (thus far)?

• Sour Cream & Cheddar: ★ ★ ★ ★
• Smoked Gouda & Chives: ★ ★ ★ ☆
• Honey Barbecue: ★ ★ ☆ ☆
• Korean Barbecue: ★ ★ ★ ☆

      That’s all the food-talk for today.
      If you enjoyed this Pheenie Loves Phood entry, let me know in the comments. If you hated it, keep it to yourself. Just kidding, let me know that as well. I will probably do additional ones, either way, but at least that way I’ll have some idea if I’m amusing or annoying.
      Spoiler Alert: I already know. The answer is both.

Note: Image is “Japanese Food – #1328409” by (Roberto Tostes) from SXC.hu

Peeps image is snipped from their website.

Lays images were snipped from their website.