Welcome to the second installment of Pheenie ❤s Phood on Jeez, Josie.com. A series of posts where yours truly eats and then dishes about it.
This is a continuation of the first post, in which I spoke about the Lay’s Flavor Swap edition chips: Smoked Gouda & Chives and Korean Barbecue. Today, I’m going to talk about the remaining two: Olive Oil & Herbs and Fiery Roasted Habañero.
So, let’s start with the latter, because – why not?
I have not been a fan of spicy things, historically speaking. I am a spice-wuss. Sure, after my Dad died, I started drinking Tabasco out of the bottle… it was a weird coping thing. I missed him and he loved hot things. But my salsa? Mild. Every time.
There were always a few exceptions, or things that were spicy/hot but that I enjoyed anyway. A chicken vindaloo. That Pizza Hut Buffalo Chicken Pizza from the early aughts adverised by Jessica Simpson and Toby Keith (I think). My current obsession with Korealicious’ marinated cucumbers (SO HOT! SO GOOD! I literally wept while eating them) and their Yangnyeom Chicken (which I started out ordering mild and am now graduating to a full “normal”).
Another exception? The original Flaming Hot Cheetos.
I ate several entire bags of those the first year they came out (or at least, the first year I ever saw them, back in the mid-90s. [Editor’s Note: Confirmed by Wikipedia, they premiered in 1992.] They burned, but they were good. Cheesy and hot and good.
I got over them rapidly though. Like, around the time the roadtrip ended, probably.
The regular Lay’s Flamin’ Hot chips don’t thrill me as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos once did. Probably the lack of cheese, considering how much I adore cheese. Anyway. They’re okay, but there’s no depth. Just heat. Ick. Skip. No thanks. Bye Felicia.
I’ve been purposefully trying to open my mind to new cuisines (and to learn to enjoy spicier flavors) in recent weeks, so I went into this bag of Fiery Roasted Habañero chips with low-but-somewhat-eager-anyway expectations.
They did not disappoint.
These are 1000 times tastier than plain Flamin’ Hot. They’ve got a delicious smokey note when you first crunch into them; that sort of vegetable-y pepper flavor combines with the char of the grill beautifully.
Then the spice hits.
Some people might say these aren’t that hot. Those people can go f*ck themselves. They are hot. They build rapidly to BURN and stay there for quite awhile. I’m not in a position to drown my tongue in milk (lest I vomit) nor can I tolerate bread right now (also, lest I vomit)… so basically, I sat there at the gaming table for an hour waiting for the burn to taper off.
I won’t buy them again, the experience was a little too intense for my personal tastes. Still, if you like hot and you like chips – these are totally worth it.
The final flavor is one that does not sound terribly exciting. Olive Oil & Herb. Woo.
It is supposed to replace Cracked Black Pepper, which is equally as boring a flavor, as far as I’m concerned. Black Pepper is extremely one note, as far as I’m concerned.
That said, I really enjoy several herbaceous chip flavors and figured that this new one would easily be a win.
I’m sad to say – it was not.
It was bland, yet tasted like biting into raw, dried rosemary or thyme. Terribly unpleasant. Terribly “herby”. Terribly terrible. Definitely not worth the calories, that’s for certain. As boring as Cracked Black Pepper is, I sure hope it wins.
I’m disappointed in my own review of these, saving the short, negative review for the end so it seems like I have trouble with endings – but never fear, when my book comes out, you’ll see that I *can* write good endings…
Sorta.
…ish.
My ratings for Flamin’ Hot, Fiery Roasted Habañero, Cracked Black Pepper, and Olive Oil & Herb are:
- Flamin’ Hot: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
- Fiery Roasted Habañero: ★ ★ ★ ☆
- Cracked Black Pepper: ★ ★ ☆ ☆
- Olive Oil & Herb: ★ ★ ☆ ☆
Hope you enjoyed Pheenie ❤s Phood II. How did you find these flavors? Do you concur with my ratings or am I WAY off-base? Tell me below!
Note: Image is “dices” by (tijmen) from SXC.hu