I have a confession to make.
I am not a good blogger.
No really, I’m not. This ain’t my first rodeo, as they say. I think I talked about my history with blogging in another post, but no one read it so I guess it is safe to rehash it here.
Little Josie kept diaries. I still have them, a dozen or so, in a box upstairs. Several contain clippings of “BOP” magazine with my favorite celebrity crushes in it (Mostly Christian Slater and Eddie Furlong, circa 1992, I think). Others have lots of poems, or rants about school, or dreams and story ideas.
I sort of petered out in High School. But then, with the rise of the interwebs, I had a personal website (Tripod.com – haha!) and created individual pages for all my “journal entries”. After that started to get too complicated to manage, I discovered that some brilliant people had created websites you could join and use and THEY did all the coding and whatnot. I joined Diaryland and used that until the drama with a man I was sort of falling in love with over the internet (yeah, I know, I know) made it all too painful.
When my ex-fiancé and I were still together (but literally days before it finally ended!) I registered my first domain (Solitary-Confinement.com – gee, was that Freudian, prophetic, or wishful thinking?). It was supposed to be a whole conglomeration of things, but it never really took off. I wasn’t dedicated and I didn’t have much to say. I’ve always been sort of a ‘fringe’ member of fandoms, not one of the true fanatics who keep the whole subculture thriving on the web.
Anyway – after sporadic posting, a lot of stops and starts, and a little more drama – I eventually gave it up.
But I couldn’t stay away from writing and I could not stop blogging.
A year or so before I started JeezJosie.com, I started my pseudonym’s writing blog.
And THAT also has sort of stalled at times, because frankly, I just don’t feel like an authority on writing (I’m an amateur, I didn’t finish my degree, and to be honest, most of these bloggers who blog about writing topics seem pretty pretentious) and I don’t have that much to say about my WIPs because they’re… you know… WIPs.
Then my little sister and brother-in-law had me start them up blogs and I was like – dude, if they can blog on the regular, so can I. And thus… we are here.
The thing is, I tend to ramble. That’s why I have to edit my prose so brutally. If I don’t outline to guide myself along the path, I end up spinning off on tangents and introducing a billion subplots and other things that really don’t belong. I often start out blog posts with a real, firm point I want to make, but by the end… the good Lord only knows if I get anywhere near to that intended spot.
Take this post, for example.
I intended to talk about how I’m a bad blogger. I ramble and don’t always complete the arguement/thought and I’m sporadic and unreliable…
And what did I do? I rambled and didn’t complete the thought and I’m pretty much read to just schedule this for next week and consider it a done deal.
This is why I never joined a “real” blog – a friend from school has a beautiful, witty, collective blog and I was asked to contribute – because I just don’t think I’m much good at this whole blogging thing. And though I suppose I could put the same kind of work into each of my posts as I do my novelling, that’s not really what blogging is about to me.
I open my console, click to create a new post, put in my signature information, and just let my fingers do the walking.
Sometimes, it turns out great (er… passable) and sometimes it turns out a little ‘meh’. But its always me.
Sharing the stuff in my brain with the interwebs since 1999.
…sometimes it even makes sense.
Note: Image is “Another dotcom shot of my pen holder” by binsurf from SXC.hu