Babies on the Brain

      A hundred years ago, and I say this with only anecdotal information so I am probably utterly mistaken, getting knocked up was easier.
      You got married (or not), had sex, and *boom* a kid was born. Now, naturally, not every single sex act results in a child, and some people still had to “try” for awhile… but by and large, it seemed like fertility was either not as big an issue, not as frequently dicussed, or not as commonly a problem for people.
      Today, huge swaths of people are suffering from infertility issues.
      Yet, everyone and their brother is pregnant or just had a kid.
      Exaggeration, I gots it.
      I have always wanted children. I have also worried since I was old enough to realize that some people couldn’t have kids, that I wouldn’t be able to have any of my own. That worry did not stop me from drinking lots of tumor-producing diet cola (*shakes fist at the injustice of the world*) and getting fat and all that stuff.
      At age thirty-three (nearing thirty-four), I am already closing in on the age I swore was my cut-off – 35. At age thirty-three, I have three nephews on my husband’s side, one on my side, dozens of cousins’ children in my maternal and paternal families, friends with children ranging from still-in-the-womb to freshly-born to fifteen (FIFTEEN!!!) years old.
      But I also know lots of people who are trying – some even with fertility treatments – and cannot get pregnant. A good friend, a girl I’ve known since Mrs. Jordan had me sit next to her in the second grade, and her husband have been trying for years. Another, I met at work, suffers with PCOS and though they are warrior parents to a beautiful little girl, a second child is not as quickly forthcoming as they’d wish. My brother-in-law and his wife have been trying for as long as I’ve known them. A good friend, who has one kid, has been trying for a second for years now as well.
      And this woman I worked for in High School – she and her husband kept trying for seventeen years… to my knowledge, they never did get pregnant.
      I have babies on the brain.
      There’s no rhyme or reason to this post, just… me rambling on the topic.
      I had names picked out for my hypothetical children from the time I was in High School. I even wrote this faux future biography about it. I had five children, a set of twins (Donovan Massimo & Alaina Caprice) followed by triplets (Gabriel Lucas, Melanie Olivia, and Lydia Jade). They were all fathered by the same sperm donor, because I was a rock-hard feminist who was sure she did not need a husband to have the beautiful brood I dreamed about.
      The names changed as I got older. Alaina and Donovon were out, and so too was Melanie (even though I could tell her that though I didn’t know it when I was fifteen and chose the name, it turned out she shared a name with my favorite writer!). For years I was determined that I would have a son named Modest Gabriel Lucas Childs, called Luke, because Luke is an awesome nickname.
      Lydia Jade became Lydia Judith, but then was shelved because Mark & I loved the name Penelope so much as we didn’t figure on having more than one or two kids. Penelope stuck for a long time, but then – well, it got used elsewhere and so… no, it will not be the name of our imaginary child.
      I liked Beatrice, but Mark said no. He likes Sarah and Claire, both of which are nice, but just too PLAIN for me.
      We have agreed on a couple other options now, just in case we ever procreate, but mostly I doubt we’ll get a chance. I’m too fat and too sick and, frankly, too old. And he’s… him. HAHA!
      He’d make a great dad though. Watching him with Venna has really convinced me of that.
      …I should not blog when I’m tired and its 6 am and I have no real rhyme or reason.
      Even if I don’t get to have kids, I’m glad Evie and Mike have Malakai, and whatever future children there are to come, plus the little angel up in Heaven waiting for us. <3       Auntie is almost as good as Mommy... right? Signed, Josie
Note: Image is “Owls in a tree!” by (Tinneketin) from SXC.hu

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