Today is the twelfth anniversary of our awkwardly adorable “are we boyfriend/girlfriend?” “yeah” “exclusive, then?” “yep” “cool” conversation.
      Today is also the day I did not pass my CDL test.
      I shouldn’t phrase it like that.
      I went in so full of positive energy and prayers and a cool confidence that could not be denied. I took the time out this morning to calm my jangling nerves (actually – they really weren’t that bad at all, especially for me) by putting on my eye make-up and wearing a nice sweater so I looked as much like someone who could handle herself as possible. I charmed the examiner before the test, when he stopped in after passing Jonathan (and earlier that morning, Raoul/Billy).
      And when my turn came, I kicked the pre-trip’s ass. I kicked the air brake test’s ass. I didn’t forget a single thing and was totally aces!
      Then we moved on to the skills (maneuvering/backing) section of the test.
      This is where I was the most worried, this is where I was sure I would fail.
      And I kicked the straight back’s ass.
      Then I kicked the off-set back’s ass.
      And yeah, I even kicked the sight-side parallel’s ass.
      Then came the road test. I was nervous, yeah, but I know I can handle myself. I was a lot more confident about “going forward” than any of the backing stuff.
      I pulled out of the range and onto the little lane that leads toward the main exit. He pointed to the faux Railroad Crossing and I explained that since I wasn’t placarded and didn’t carry passengers, I just needed to slow down to proceed with caution, crack the windows to listen for a train, and keep my eyes open. Boom, passed.
      Then we had to make a real tight left onto the exit lane. And I swung wide… extra wide…
      …too wide.
      I could not clear the lamp post without having to back up, and thus – auto-failed.
      That’s right. For all my confidence and positivity, I still managed to make a stupid mistake before I even got onto the actual roads of my road-test.
      Womp womp.
      But… we’ll reschedule. And I’ll conquer it.
      And then next week, we’ll be off to orientation (in either Ohio or Allentown, PA) and then we’ll be out… gone… just Mark and Me and Venna.
      …but first, I must conquer that damn road test. And after failing it once so utterly and humiliatingly early… I’m not sure I can get my confidence mojo back. Pray for me.
      And hey – at least I looked awesome!


Signed, Josie
Note: Image is “Sunset Run” by Julian Boswell from SXC.hu

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