Self-Reflection, Part One

      I ran across a series of questions recently and thought to myself – Water Lily (I call myself that sometimes… no, I am kidding. I am just channeling Blanche Elizabeth Deveraux, neé Hollingsworth tonight) why don’t you go ahead and talk about yourself on your very own blog?
      And I answered myself: Well, Water Lily, that’s a splendid idea! Or a terrible one. Either way – let’s go!
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  • Do you consider yourself more feminine or masculine?
  •       Oof. A hard one to begin. I always thought I was more a ‘guy’s girl’ then a girly-girl. Not exactly “tom boy” but… more comfortable around the dudes than other chicks. Except, that isn’t really true in retrospect because I think that generally speaking, the boys were afraid the fat girl wanted to kiss/mack on/bone them and so – ick. Which, admittedly, I did.
          But that’s another story. I’m fairly feminine these days: I’ve learned not to hate pink by default (see my current hair color, HAH!) and I have always loved dresses & skirts. Yet to this day, I wear make-up very rarely, I don’t do much to style my hair, and my clothes are, by and large, comfy rather than stylish. Like most people, I run a spectrum of masculinity and femininity.

  • Do you consider yourself tall or short?
  •       Short. I’m 5’4″.

  • What’s your favorite color?
  •       Tangerine. Duh… I’ve blogged about having a Short Bus painted that shade before, FFS!

  • What do you love about yourself?
  •       My capacity for joy in the small things.
          No really. I find so much pleasure and beauty and wonderment in this ugly, hateful, horror-filled modern world. And I adore that about my crazy little self. I love that just watching Mark & Venna cuddle can make an awful day light up. I love that a funny GIF or a text from my Mom or a particularly gorgeous cloud formation can just make me feel like everything is going to be okay.

  • What’s your greatest flaw?
  •       My addiction to chips? Uh… My habitual procrastination. Er… situational laziness?

  • Do you see yourself differently than other people describe you?
  •       Oh, definitely. If you ask people to describe me – generally they comment about how I’m so funny or creative. Or that I’m quiet and sweet. Or that I’m smart/clever and funny again. Sometimes, they’ll mention my penchant (talent?) for writing.
          But I tend to be pretty hard on myself. I don’t think I’m especially funny – though I do crack myself up. I feel like that just adds pressure to be amusing in public, which gives me social anxiety! And quiet? Hah! I talk Mark’s ear off. When I’m comfortable with a person/people, I really can pop out of my shell and be outgoing and obnoxiously loud.
          No, really!

  • What are you really, really good at?
  •       Writing! Imagining things! Empathy. Seeing both sides of an issue. Blowj- Um. Nevermind on that one. I’m really good at… eating potato chips!

  • What’s something you’re bad at, but love?
  •       Singing. Drawing Manga. Blogging.

  • What’s something people have tried to force you to do?
  •       Hmm. I might have to get back to you on this. Nothing is springing instantly to mind. I have been a pretty stubborn b*tch all my years and making me do something is… well, I also capitulate because I hate confrontation and drama.
          So I guess there are probably examples of it in my history… *draws a blank*

  • How do you spend your free time?
  •       Writing. Hanging out with Mark & Venna. Gaming. Preparing my Campaign for our bi-weekly Pathfinder RPG sessions (Kingmaker ala Josie, baby – it rocks!). Wasting time on the interwebs. Blogging.

  • Describe the way you dress in one sentence.
  •       How about one word? Badly. Or maybe “comfortably”. I tend toward t-shirts in bright, solid colors (cheaply acquired at various fat chick stores) and comfy knit pants. Oh! That’s untrue – most of the time, if I am at home, I am in my standard pajamas uniform: old tank top, loose PJ pants or shorts.
          I should really like to lose weight and feel comfortable displaying all the styles and shapes and things I like ‘in theory’ but… for now, I go for cheap, easy, comfy.

  • Have you ever gotten your nails professionally painted?
  •       Yes. And professionally acrylic’d. I vowed, after the last time, I would never do it again because it was SO hard on my already poor nails. But I am so fed up of being unable to grow them that I may have to try it again…

  • What is the most insulting thing anyone has said to you
  •       No lie. I have still not forgiven an uppity bitch from High School for telling me I would never score any man better than the lazy jackhole who sits on his ass all the time, swizzling bear and watching sports. Fuck her. My husband may be lazy, but we sit together, swilling water, tea, or coffee, and talking about gaming.

  • Favorite game?
  •       Argh. So vague! This is impossible to answer. Console? PC? Pen & Paper? Sexual (hah)?
          Arcanum. Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9. And 12. Oh god, 12. LoTRO. Dungeons & Dragons 3.5. Pathfinder. So much. Princess Maker. Sim City. The SIMS! Frantic Freddy. Maniac Mansion. Disgaea, various. Suikoden II. I mean… hells, I could go on and on.

  • What color is your hair?
  •       Fetish Pink, by Splat Color. <3

Signed, Josie
Note: Image is “Peekaboo” by Josie

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